PMS Potions
by McGonagall's Bola
Summary: Mildred only intended to help. Hardbroom isn't very happy… at all.


FOR the great, the talented... the best sis ever: **_NextChristineDaae_**!

* * *

"I would dare to bet that she's got PMS," Ruby said.

"Yeah, definitely. She's got those times when she's even more unbearable than otherwise, and… this is so one of those," Jadu agreed as they walked from the Potion Lab, glad that their lesson was finally over. HB hadn't been scarce with criticism or those typical observations, directed at basically everything and everyone.

"We'll know if we were right when she shows in class paler than usual in some days' time," Maud contributed.

Enid nodded. "Yeah. There are a few days each month when she looks even more pale than otherwise. I wouldn't be surprised should these be _that _time of the month for HB."

"I hope I won't be like her when I too become a woman," Maud said, then sighed.

"Oh you won't be. HB's already vicious to begin with, too," Mildred muttered in sad tone. Then Mildred's face suddenly turned a lot happier, and the four other girls stood looking at her in wonder, each swearing that they could see the cogs turn in her head, maybe even hear them whizzing. "Hey," she said. "Isn't there maybe some kind of potion that makes someone nicer or more bearable with PMS? A spell? I mean, we're witches. We're girls! There must be something! If we could just brew some potion that helps HB with her PMS or find a spell, it will help us, too! We could slip the potion in her food or the tea she likes so much – the smelly mint-like one. Maybe she'll be a bit kinder; even her usual behavior opposed to this mad PMS version of her would be great."

"We could at least try," Enid offered. "Though… where would you find a spell against PMS, or potion? I doubt anything like that is in our books."

"The library, of course!" Maud said with a smile.

* * *

"If HB discovers us, we will be in more than a little trouble," Jadu whispered, nervously wringing her hands.

"We're doing this only to help her," Mildred said, ensuring the four others. "If we are quiet enough, I'm sure she won't find us. She's most likely asleep now anyway."

"True," Maud admitted. "Now give me the bottle of young sunflower essence, will you, Millie? That is the last that I need to add and it will be ready."

Mildred turned, scrunching up her nose at those very similar two bottles, taking the one that was most to the right, sure that was the right one, and turning to the others again with a smile, offering Maud the small bottle of young sunflower essence.

"How much has to go in there?" Ruby wondered.

"Uhm… The whole of the bottle, it seems," Enid replied a few seconds later, looking over Maud's shoulder and reading from the instructions. Maud thus poured the whole of the bottle in the cauldron. All five girls gathered at the cauldron, looking carefully over each other's shoulders at the golden colored liquid. It at least didn't look like they had failed. Gold rarely indicated a failure.

"Alright. The test tubes now then," Mildred said, reaching for the wooden holder, setting it down beside the cauldron. "If we're lucky now, it will work and we'll have a few test tubes for every day, so she might even be just bearable this time. Too bad that it already stops working after twenty-four hours and that we will have to find a way to add the potion to her food every day…"

"We'll see," Jadu said, "but that's the least if it makes HB even a little kinder only. I wouldn't mind it."

The four others immediately agreed, nodding to her reply. Maud gently took the spoon that lay beside the cauldron and lowered it in the liquid, gathering enough in it to fill a tube. Ruby thoughtfully reached for one, handing it to her. Maud's hands shook upon filling it, doing her best not to spill too much.

"Do you reckon she will notice some of her stuff gone?" Enid wondered aloud.

"No, I don't believe so," Mildred said. "She's got so much stuff, and no matter what, unless she catches us now, she will never be able to prove anything, should she be suspecting us."

"Shh!" Jadu said. "You should be quieter, lest we wake her."

The four others watched on as Maud filled three more tubes with the golden potion. All five girls cleaned away the evidence of their little nightly visit to the Potion Lab together, then left on tiptoes, each smiling winningly at their brew and at not having been caught at the act by HB herself or any other authority. They giggled softly upon ascending the stairs again, despite trying to keep it down.

They were only halfway when they all were halted in their tracks at the appearance of the Potion Mistress. She always looked unbelievably awake. Her brown eyes were clear and showed irritation. Her lips were pursed, too. "What do you five believe you're doing wandering the corridors of the castle this time of night, when everyone is supposed to be asleep? Well?"

Mildred really tried not to swallow too visibly as she tightened her hold on the two tubes of potion she carried. She walked a few steps ahead, delivering the _typical _first excuse that happened to cross her mind, hoping that it would sound convincing enough. "We needed to use the bathroom, Miss," she said.

"All five of you at the very same time?"

"Yes, Miss Hardbroom," Ruby said, slowly joining Mildred. She very much hated to do this, but this really was the best of an excuse possible at that point. HB never ate from the pizza on Saturdays like the rest of the staff and their girls, instead sitting there watching as everyone else did and just skipping the meal, undoubtedly to eat something 'more nutritious and traditional' later in the staff room. She had never really liked it, so she would most likely be pleased to hear something negative about it. She just hoped Mrs. Tapioca wouldn't get in trouble for it later on, thus she would have to word herself very carefully indeed. "We ran into each other. I guess that it is Mrs. Tapioca's pizza from this afternoon. She added some more cheese to it than usual, which might have caused our rather upset tummies. That has never happened, though – so it really must be the bit of cheese she added."

HB eyed them all not entirely convinced, though maybe a slight bit pleased altogether, too. "Why not use the bathrooms on the bedroom floors?

"They were occupied already, Miss," Maud contributed. "I'm guessing that we were not the only ones. There are more bathrooms at-grade, and we couldn't wait…"

"I hope your 'upset tummies' are settled now then," HB said. "You're waking everyone in the castle like this. Off to bed you all go – in silence!"

"Yes, Miss Hardbroom," all five girls chanted at the elder witch, slowly walking the rest of the stairs under HB's watchful eye. They all knew better but to argue that they really hadn't been loud at all. They could count their lucky stars that they had gotten away already so easily, and that without detention at all, too…

* * *

"That's it!" Enid said, pointing at a bottle of amber liquid upon the wooden staff table.

The girls looked at one another, nodding agreeingly. Jadu gently reached for it, taking off the cork on it and smelling it, immediately pulling a face. "Blah. That's gross."

Mildred leaned over to smell it, too. She then took the bottle herself, reaching in her pocket for the test tube of PMS potion, and uncorking with her teeth. "I can't imagine anyone willingly wanting to make tea from this, either nutritious or not," she said, slowly pouring the liquid in the bottle they knew belonged to HB, filled with cold tea which she warmed when wanted. "Miss Cackle won't even consider it at all, nor Miss Bat or Miss Drill. She always likes energetic over nutritious after all. I bet that no one dares touch this even, since we all know it is HB's."

"True," Maud admitted, and the four witches shared a brief laughter, just when Ruby's voice sounded urgently from the hallway.

"Hurry! I can hear footsteps coming!"

"Oh no…" Mildred groaned, quietly lifting the end of the test tube higher, so the liquid poured faster. She tried not to spill anything of it – one little drop on the desk would be enough to alarm HB. They would not really have an alibi, considering all other girls were enjoying the sunshine in the open, and Ethel and Drusilla would be happy enough to tell HB should they get air of this.

Shoving the bottle of cold tea back hurriedly, the four girls ran from the staff room and jumped into the room opposite, Ruby only just managing to join them there. They would wait there for a while, then leave their hiding spot as well. Now if the potion would just work.

"Psshh! Do you believe it worked?" Jadu asked, leaning over the desk slightly to direct her question at Enid, Maud and Mildred, she and Ruby sitting behind them in the Potion Lab. Mildred gazed at HB again. She didn't seem any different at all in any way – certainly not any kinder or less vicious – because there was a great difference between the two if it concerned Constance Hardbroom; a great difference between 'kinder' and 'less 'vicious' for sure. The worst witch sighed, slightly shaking her head, opening her mouth to speak when HB interrupted her, "I was under the impression I told you to copy the text from the blackboard in your respective notebooks for later reference, Mildred Hubble. Didn't I make myself clear enough?"

"You did, Miss Hardbroom," she replied in a small but defeated tone, adding just loud enough for only her friends to hear, "It doesn't really work at all, it seems."

The rest of the potions lesson just continued in the same way and by the time it ended, even Ethel and Drusilla seemed glad that it had. The potion only seemed to have worsened all if possible. Maybe she just hadn't had any of it yet after they had poured the potion with her tea or maybe something else had gone amiss with it. They all wondered about it as they left HB behind in the classroom.

"Are you sure you followed the recipe correctly?" Enid wondered.

"Yes!" Maud exclaimed, musing further. "I'm absolutely sure! I can't really find any reason why it wouldn't work. Maybe it wasn't enough as opposed to the cold tea or maybe she has charmed it against this kind of stuff… or maybe she's not had any tea yet after we have added the PMS potion. Maybe… it isn't PMS after all. Maybe it is something different…"

"I don't believe so, but at least we have tried it."

"Yeah," the others immediately agreed. It wasn't their business after all. They had just tried to help her; if it would still have its effect anyway, only time would tell. With that thought and a shrug of the shoulders, they all continued to P.E., dragging their feet doing so. Miss Drill had announced a run through the woods today, at the beginning of the week.

* * *

At least when they returned from the woods all muddy and exhausted with a still-active but pleased Miss Drill, they were allowed to take showers right away, before dinner – and dinner would be Mrs. Tapioca's delicious wok. She was very good at pasta and all that had to do with it. She was great as a cook for them.

Freshly showered and nice-smelling, the girls came to dinner that evening. They quietly had assumed the potion just hadn't worked and hadn't given it as much as a second thought, humming over the nice wok with chicken and telling each other of all the spots where they had gotten pricked by the nettles. They never paid attention to HB… until suddenly she stormed from the room, holding her hand across her mouth. All eyes were directed at her then. After a couple of brief seconds, the girls looked at one another in mild shock, all thinking the same. "She really didn't look well," Ruby stated, causing Mildred to bite down on her bottom lip.

"Do you really reckon it is the potion?" Maud wondered, voicing what all thought and feared.

"If so," Mildred said, her eyes becoming worried, "We'll just have to hope it doesn't get worse, though what if it does? Should we go tell Miss Cackle just in case then? I mean, I believe she would agree that we were only trying to help her. She would take that in consideration."

"I don't know, Millie," Jadu said. "Maybe we should wait until she gets back. Maybe she just ate something yucky and had to throw up once and isn't it related to the potion at all."

"We'll just have to hope it is not," Enid said.

"Yes," Mildred agreed. "I don't want to know just how many lines HB would let me write for trying to poison her, even if we were trying to help her."

The rest of dinner continued in silence between the five girls, but by the time everyone had finished Mrs. Tapioca's wok, some others were worried as well when HB still hadn't returned from wherever she had run to, and Mildred had silently vowed to go tell Miss Cackle. It didn't seem like coincidence to her.

"Where is she?" Enid wondered. "She's been away for quite a while."

"The bathroom, I assume," Jadu answered.

As the first girls stood and began to filter away from the room, Mildred stood, too, sighing deeply at the fate and detention that sure would await her. "I'll go," she said only just loud enough. After all, it wouldn't be beneficial should either Ethel or Drusilla hear her. "There's no need for you all to get in trouble for this thing as well."

"Mildred, come on," Ruby said. "We're as guilty as you."

"No, because this was all my idea," Mildred said. "Please, don't. I can most likely convince Miss Cackle that we– I was trying to help her only."

"Okay then," they agreed, watching as Mildred took a hold of her bag and cleaned plate to put with the other dirty ones before going to Miss Cackle to tell her about the potion they had tried brewing and had poured in HB's cold tea, hoping that she would actually benefit from it. As Mildred passed by, Ethel turned to her with a smirk.

"Maybe she finally got sick over you and your ugly face," she said.

"Or yours," Mildred replied irritably, pushing her plate on the table, then stomping from the room to the staff room. She was nearly there when a sound suddenly reached her sensitive little ears. She halted in her tracks and listened, turning her head left and right. Her eyes then fell upon a door saying 'Staff Only'. She stepped slowly closer, leaning her ear against the wood to listen better. For a shorter moment, she heard nothing and was already about to move on to the staff room, thinking she had merely imagined it when she heard the sound again. Knocking gently but hearing no response in any way, she touched the doorknob and let herself in. She gasped at the sight offered to her upon entering: HB sitting curled up in the fetal position on the floor beside an old toilet, holding onto her stomach tightly with both hands. Beads of sweat lay on her forehead, and she looked incredibly pale.

She looked up weakly as she heard the door creaking open softly and seeing her gaze wander, Mildred closed the open door behind her. She wouldn't want to be seen in that state. She didn't know why she thought of herself as good enough to ignore this. "Mildred Hubble," HB said, and her voice was significantly weaker than usual, though Mildred could tell she was still trying to be as stern as usual. "What part of 'Staff Only' don't you get?"

"I'm sorry, Miss," Mildred said. "I just heard a sound and I wanted to know what it was and then see if you were alright. How are you feeling?"

"Like I just puked my gut from my body," she said very sarcastically.

"I'm so sorry," Mildred said, sinking down on her knees beside HB and doing her best not to let her gaze wander to the toilet beside them. She couldn't bear the sight of any vomit; the smell was only just bearable, but she guessed she just had to tolerate it for her idea putting her there to begin with. "I just wanted to help. I couldn't have known that you would react on it just like this – if I maybe had, I wouldn't have done it all again," Mildred said and looked down.

"How did you try help me? Poison me?" HB wondered, harsh tone implying that she highly doubted Mildred could ever help with anything at all in the elder witch's life.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Well, we– I made a potion for PMS and poured it in your cold tea in the staff room. I thought that it would help you so you would be less mean when… even meaner than usual."

"That was… very thoughtful of you," HB had to admit and as Mildred looked up at her, she saw that she had regained some color. She still looked very pale, but a very slight blush had come upon her cheeks as well. "I wonder if I'm so obvious that you noticed it to be _that_ at all. Then again, you're a girl as well… so maybe I shouldn't be so very surprised."

"Well, it happens every month, and we made the connection," Mildred said, her voice taking on a sad tone again, and she continued to look at her own hands, twisting in her lap purposelessly, instead of looking up or anything again. "We really just wanted to help. If it bothered you so much, maybe the potion would help you a tad."

"As I already said, that was very thoughtful of you," HB said, then sighed. "Alas, I believe that the potion doesn't work on me really. I've tried it myself especially when I was younger, multiple times. It just makes me feel sick."

"I'm so sorry, Miss Hardbroom. I really just wanted to–" "…help," HB finished. "Yes. I know." A silence stretched between both witches and dare they say the silence was not at all uncomfortable. Finally, HB spoke again, causing Mildred to finally look up at her once more. "You know, you often remind me of myself when I was the same age. I had a very strict form mistress who never let a chance whatsoever pass by to leave a comment on me and whatever I did. I wasn't even bad as you now, though certainly worse than I could be. I would like to believe that her continuous commentary on how I could be better and her negative attitude to me, helped me to be who I am now."

"You're a great witch, Miss Hardbroom. If I could do half the magic that you can ever, I'd be over the moon."

"I can't tell if you will," HB said honestly. "You will have to try hard, but we all begin from somewhere. Some just learn far faster than others."

Mildred smiled brightly – this was definitely the most positive she had ever heard from HB. She thought that her just having been sick might have something to do with it. "Will you be alright?" she wondered.

HB nodded. "Yes," she said. "It is not like I haven't dealt with this before or with you trying to help me in general. Yes, I know you're very sorry," she added, upon seeing Mildred's mouth open undoubtedly to apologize again. "Now off you go, before I change my mind and give you detention for trying to poison me, after all."


End file.
